Salsa Like You Live

In an effort to have fun, learn new skills, and, yes, meet new people, I've decided to start Salsa Dancing. Cliched? Maybe. But have you done it, yet?

I get there and the instructor is already shouting commands to the 20 "couples" who are there. It's more like random guys and random girls with a couple or two sprinkled in. The basic moves are actually not that tough to get: Count to 8, move your feet, feel the rhythm and it's very basic. I used to do a lot of West Coast Swing so I'm comfy learning on the fly and very comfy with the inherent sexiness Salsa has, as well. My fellow male counterparts aren't so comfy. And the females don't look that way, either.

As the instructor shows the guys their parts, we shuffle, we try to shuffle, most try to shuffle to the beat. Once we've managed "well enough", the instructor moves to the girls. And as the girls shuffle, try, or manage a great thought hit me. Here is where I am reminded why dancing is so great: Dancing is a social exercise. Dancing is a microcosm of dating. And of love. And of life.

Just like dancing, we each have to learn our parts. Go outside of the basic rhythm and what you do becomes awkward and frustrating for you and the one you are with. I don't like dancing off rhythm. Don't know anyone who does. Know too many who shuffle, who try, who manage all the same.

After the girls' instructions, we come together as mismatched, momentary couples to try to salsa. We didn't do too well. In MY defense, I don't think my partner understood English. No judgements. I just had to show her how it's done instead. Communication goes beyond language.

Then the instructor shouted priceless instructions, "If your partner is not moving with you, STOP! " I'm not just taking Salsa at this point. "If your partner is looking at the floor and not you, STOP! If you and your partner are not moving to the beat of the music, STOP!" And the just-as-important, "Now, let's try that again." So we did. And we improved.

"Guys rotate to your left!" And now I have a new partner. Who's just a little different than the last. Who is doing the same basic steps. And it's becoming easier as we go.

But I already know a secret my fellow boys may not: The boy leads. When the boy leads, the girl follows. It's not so easy to do in either case. And it's obvious to see on the faces of every couple there.

I think the reason for this is it's very counter to what culture tells us these days: "Guys, be very considerate to everyone. Be respectful and don't impede the wishes of others. Don't be overly physical or force your will.", "Ladies, don't let someone tell you what to do. Don't supplicate in any situation. Stand up and speak your mind, but not too much."

I believe if a something exists then it's fulfilling a need. Same goes with these thoughts. But dancing, or rather, dancing well, doesn't really give a shit. The principles of dancing could very well be accused of being sexist. And yet, they don't work very well otherwise. The instructor is reminding us of that every chance he can, "If you mess up, it's THE GUY'S FAULT!" Doesn't quite sound "equal". But you already know I love this idea, don't you?

As we continue to dance and rotate and dance again, it's obvious those couples having trouble are the couples whose GUY'S are having trouble. Trouble leading. Trouble moving himself. Trouble moving his partner. Maybe trouble understanding. And another thought hits: You dance like you live.